Holli,

Who's Marcus? Curious about the name drop in this chapter.

I like that the story of the Roys is continuing. We're seeing Leroy's nurturing side coming out more and more. It's good to see that you've addressed the empty town and I'm curious as to what the explanation is for that.

Some suggestions:

• You have several different mysteries happening at the same time - Who is Roy and what is his story? Why is the town so empty? Is the sheriff corrupt? What's up with the Laramie gang? What's Leroy's backstory? Who's Marcus? Maybe it's because I write short stories, but that seems like a lot to hold in my head for just being three chapters in. I'm sure they all tie together and maybe I'm just impatient. It seemed to me that Leroy is doing a lot of guesswork with the sheriff being corrupt. Leroy's character in the previous chapters seems to point to a man who is a pretty straight shooter. It surprised me that he did not confront the sheriff, bartender, or doctor about all the missing people.

• I'm also wondering about Roy's mood swings. He seems pretty neurotic going from, "you touch me and I'll kill you" to crying in an alley. If he is neurotic I'd invite you to lean into it even more. If he isn't and is just playing a part, it would be good to catch a few glimpses of the cracks in his performance. Maybe I've got this all wrong, but that's how I'm reading it at this point.

I like that Leroy jumps on Mable and rides bareback towards the town. This shows that he really is the nurturing type and Roy means something to him.

I'm looking forward to seeing where this western adventure goes!

-Nate